2 1/2 Years

I stopped documenting the last months of my pregnancy with Ella (Baby E was named Ella), but I was busy finishing up school before going on maternity leave. The beginning of 2012 - after 12 weeks of coughing and being sick - put me on 'house rest' due to fears I would develop pneumonia. I didn't, but I had to stop volunteering at the kindergarten and didn't get to walk or exercise outside for a while. Anya continued to develop and grow as only toddlers can. At 37 weeks she ran towards a busy street and I ran (through the snow) towards the road to catch her; I did and I started having mild back contractions which stopped after 24 hours. Baby E was scheduled for a c-section March 26th, the first day of Kevin's spring break. Ella's delivery went well. We had to wait an extra 45 minutes to get my blood in the hospital. I have an antibody present in my blood that makes it necessary that I get blood that will not activate the antibody. I had heartburn because I had not eaten since 10 pm the night before, so the C-section medications made me a little whoozy this time around, with a little tilting of the table I was settled and the surgery went very well with Ella delivered and sent to the nursery for immediate food as her blood sugar was a little low. Kevin went with Ella. I, meanwhile, was dealing with being all cleaned up and stitched up. My previous c-section left a lot of scar tissue that bled a lot and about the time I started feeling much colder and sleepy my doctor did call to make sure the blood was available. I kept myself conscious and was all stitched up and sent out to recovery. I was fine, and am fine, but it was a little scary. Anya took to being a big sister with joy and love. I had to ask for a hug for mommy since all she wanted to do was hold her little sister. Baby E was named Ella (and a few other names) after my grandmothers and Kevin's Aunt. She was (and is) a total cutie pie and has her own distinct personality. After getting email access to talk to the court about Jury Duty (I was excused due to c-section and nursing), Kevin and I got notice from our landlord that she needed to move back in. Early. We went from having a baby to needing to find a new place to live in the course of 7 days. After much discussion and a talk with our bank we decided to look into buying a house. Kevin's job has always been fluctuating so before we decided to purchase we chose to talk with the school district; especially as there were theatre jobs available for Kevin to apply to if he wouldn't have one for the next year. He was told he did and would actually be adding a full class into his schedule so -- off we went house hunting. We found one and our offer was accepted. And then the rug came out from under us. 5 days before the school year ended Kevin was told he would only have a half-time position. We were three weeks from closing on our house. We pulled out and Kevin started trying to find a new job, which was fruitless. We ended up moving in with Kevin's parents. Thank goodness for family. We are, 3 years later, still here. Hopefully, not for much longer as we would rather be financially independent. The last 2 and a half years have been very hard emotionally and financially. There is nothing harder than being financially independent, with a family, income, and a home and having that taken from you in a heartbeat. It is humbling and difficult to find yourself in a situation where medicaid and foodstamps are necessary, and it really makes you appreciate the smaller things in life. We are lucky, we had some family to fall back on, but for all intensive purposes we were homeless and jobless for a year while I was finishing up my master's degree. I finished, I have a job at a school that I have been with for two years. Kevin and I have switched roles a lot and it has made both of us appreciate what the other has done; we have walked in each other's shoes so to speak. Despite having all of these multiple difficulties thrown at us we are stronger as a team than we are separate and though we have fought, disagreed and cried...our marriage is stronger. I love Kevin more now than I did before and I lean on him, and he on me, more than we ever did before. Kevin went back to school and now holds a degree in Marketing. He is still job hunting - the lovely catch 22 in our economy. "You need more experience." - and yet the only way to get more experience is to be hired somewhere. I'm hopeful that will happen soon and we can get our independence back on track. Anya is in Kindergarten and is a bright sunny child with 4 missing teeth (yeah Tooth Fairy!). Ella is a very precocious and stubborn 3 year old. Kevin is a stay at home dad who has a radio show, plays roller hockey on the weekends, has lost 11 pounds on Herbalife (and is now selling Herbalife). I've lost weight from walking and working out and, yes, Herbalife. Slowly, slowly (at a SNAIL's pace), our life is getting into order and I can only hope the next few months will continue to have positive effects on our lives. Sorry for not writing, but sometimes you need the time and space to process all that is happening around you and shame and fear makes you not speak of what you are going through. Dont' be afraid. You are not alone.