The nasty side of parenthood

I know I've talked about bowel movements and what horrid messes come out of children's hind ends....but it is nothing compared to dealing with a vomiting child. It is really horrifying; like that car crash you are about to witness and can't pull your eyes away from. What makes it worse is that your kid feels really sick, doesn't know what's happening and is terrified of throwing up. So there's vomit, screaming, sobbing, tears, and of course a growing pile of disgusting laundry. I'm not ashamed to say that I just threw a few things in the trash. Ew.

Schoolward Bound

And the journey begins...I've been accepted into Grad School so I can become a teacher of little munchkins (2-4th grade PLEASE!)so now starts the fun of getting oriented, course schedules...lots and lots of ink and printer paper! And, of course, getting my daughter into a daycare program nearby. She and I are going on our first tour next Tuesday. It's very close to our home, so I hope that I like it and I like the cost. We'll see and keep posted!! I have another one that I'd also like to look at; but I'm almost positive that it is going to cost more since it goes through preschool and into a Kindergarten program. I like the look of it online though, so it's worth looking at and discussing whether it's an option now or in the future. Luckily, it appears that I will only need to put her in daycare 2-3 mornings a week. I'm looking forward to a break from my toddler.

I can safely say that "the terrible twos" does not start and end at 2. It starts earlier and lasts longer! I can attest to the longer because I remember my brother at 3...I called them the treacherous threes and the fearsome fours...my mother laughed. I can attest to the earlier because my daughter is completely in the throes of it!! I think we have at least 10 minor tantrums a day...and usually at least one major one that gets her time-out time. Ugh. So, parents BEWARE!!!

Journey back -- this post is mostly for myself

So...I've been slightly less good about exercising in this lovely heat wave we've been having. That and moving, unpacking, costuming, the general every day throb of living has kept me from being as diligent about it as I wanted to be. So, starting this week, I'm going to try to do a bit better. My goal is to reach 135 (a nice healthy weight for me) by Christmas. I'd love that. Right now it's somewhere between 15 and 20 lbs to go. I realized that what made me so motivated after I had my daughter was that I could see changes in my body; they weren't always speedy but I could see them. The last 15 to 20 lbs won't be as noticeable to the naked eye. So, I'm going to have to go a bit deeper (I am a costumer and I make my own costumes, I don't care about sharing my measurements):

Currently:
Bust 39"
Waist 32"
Hips 41"

Sept 15(when I started cutting out my halloween costume):
Bust 38.5"
Waist 33"
Hips 41"

So for me that feels like progress and I can keep doing what I'm doing. Hoorah!

The Name of the Game

It's been a very stressful couple of weeks. My husband's show is just starting up and since it's a new school he's dealing with all of the new personalities and getting to know everyone and how to deal with everyone. My husband is one of those incredibly rare and wonderful people who are brutally honest and expect everyone else to be honest too. Most of the time this is a great thing...but sometimes, like when dealing with the political crapola that comes from extracurricular activities, it is more of a burden. I am, fortunately or unfortunately, much better at the game than he is. I have had my mistakes with it, but for the most part I can live and breathe the tiny white lies that make up the day to day how do I deal with someone who is driving me crazy and is on my nerves part. I don't do it with friends and I don't do it at home with my family, but I am good at playing that game in the work place. The cover your butt because no one else is looking out for you, and making everyone love working with you game. Sometimes I'm not sure it is such a great thing to be good at. Other times I know I wouldn't have survived toxic work environments without it. It makes me sad though; this really shouldn't be part of the education of our students. Wouldn't more honesty and professionalism be better?

A request for some "Early Adventures"

I recently received a comment that mentioned I didn't have any earlier posts than 2010. I started this blog in January of 2010 and I have been trying, sometimes in vain, to keep up at least a weekly blog. This week I'm doing two because I decided to grant the wish and discuss some of the early pregnancy and post pregnancy adventures I had. So here goes...hopefully with lots of humor.

My husband and I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico and decided that we really wanted to have a baby and now was a good time to try. Little did we know that we wouldn't get to 'practice' making a baby for very long. One week into my job and 2 or 3 weeks into the school year we found out we were going to be having a child. First try. So much for that 'oh it will take 3-6 months for your birth control to leave your system.' ahem...LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!! It was a total combination of joy, terror, awe, and...more terror. I don't think I stopped shaking from nervous excitement all day, and I anxiously awaited feeling all of the usual pregnancy symptoms. Little did I know...

I was the atypical pregnant woman. I didn't get sick, I didn't get too emotional (I cried one night when I couldn't decide what I wanted for dinner, but...once really isn't too bad), I didn't get heartburn...
I did get tired. Lots and lots of tired, and I gained a LOT of weight with my pregnancy, which I am happy to say I have now lost all of! I would still like to try to get into a more healthy weight, but the fact that I am now back down to a relatively 'normal' size for me (in a year) is a huge weight off of my back. Literally; although it was more off my butt (and chest, hips, thighs...) Stretch marks are a B****! I told a few people that I did not want them to be referred to as 'badges of motherhood' ever again. I still don't. I don't mind them; they happen. But I just found people trying to make you 'feel better' about them by glorifying them made me feel very, very, cranky. Especially when it was a guy saying it. Grrrrr...

Some scary things did happen while I was pregnant. I found out more about blood than I cared to. They do lots of blood tests while you are pregnant to discover your Rh factor and other tests. Turns out there are more than one Rh type conditions you can have. It doesn't just affect people who are O- or B- or AB- or negative whatever! That particular negative is the one most people know about, or come to know about, but there are others. Turns out I am E-. I'm O-postive bloodtype but you have more factors in it...it is really confusing and REALLY hard to explain, but the point was somewhere along the way I had been exposed to someone else's blood who was E+ and now I had antibodies that would attack E+ blood in my body. SO, if my husband was E+ (which most people are) then our daughter had a 50/50 chance of being E+ and having my blood attack hers. Scary!! While we were awaiting my husbands blood tests they prepared us for what would happen in the worst case scenario: in-vitro blood transfusions for my daughter until she was ready to be born; which may have meant and early delivery. Well, we didn't need it. My husband, after 1 botched blood test and 1 good blood test turned out to have E- blood as well. We don't ever have to worry about THIS again! Thank goodness!!!

My other scary moment was when I was at work and painters were working upstairs. The building venitlation sent everything down into the basement where my office was. Everyone got dizzy and sick feeling. I almost passed out and was sent home. I was a little nervous about it, but my doctor said I was probably fine unless I had more symptoms. Still, it was a frightening experience for a new mom-to-be.

I've spoken about things NOT to say to a pregnant woman. I've mentioned the tummy touching. I swear people feel that it is an instant invitation to fondle your stomach...even if you have your arms crossed over it; some people will literally just move your hands aside as if it is THEIR right to touch YOUR belly. I realize that in some cultures it is considered good luck to touch a pregnant belly, especially if you are trying to get pregnant too...but still, it's still horribly impolite to not at least ask. Read body language people!!!

Let's see, so...I am 5'3" (or close enough to). I was not really built to deliver a child larger than 7 1/2 lbs. My daughter was almost 9, with a 37 centimeter head. I had a C-section. I LOVED having a C-section. I wouldn't do it (and now really can't) do it any other way. C-section, for me anyway, was the way to go. I didn't feel a darn thing, I was relaxed, and (after a 24 hour dose of morphine) very happy. It is major abdominal surgery, but I truly feel that it shouldn't be an option that people are afraid of. My advice, read up on it, and if you have to have one get up as soon as they let you and start walking around. The more you walk the better it will get and the faster you recover (but be a SLOW, SAFE, walker).

I think that may cover some of my early experiences. I traveled a lot with my daughter. She's been to quite a few different states and even to another country. Traveling by yourself with a child is hard; traveling by yourself with a toddler in a temper is much much worse!!

Thanks for reading!

The Easy Button

So. I'm going back to school in the spring. The school I was looking at gave me GREAT news; I only have 1 class I need to take to complete my elementary 'prelims' for the state. So, instead of starting next fall I'm going back in the spring. The only catch: my daughter is going to have to have one to two days of daycare a week. YIKES! Scary mommy moment!!! I actually think my daughter will completely enjoy the experience and come to love having other children to play with a couple times a week, so while it pains me to even think about leaving her I think it will be good for her; now if only I knew that I could find a good, safe, not ultra religious daycare center. I have a couple of options that I'm looking into and I think I am just going to have to buckle down and go visit 3-5 of them and see what I like, don't like, and what the costs are going to be. That was the weird thing for me...prices are not listed on ANY of these sites. Not even an average price for a toddler. So here I am going to be walking into some of these places and I hope I don't fall in love with the one that has the HUGE pricetag!! I'll be getting help from the grandparents in order for us to do this, but still...

In the end though it is all about what is best for my baby. If I only like the one that costs the most I'm going to spend the money on it. I have seen too many daycares that cost less not doing everything they should be doing for the children in their care. I feel better about it knowing that I was able to stay home with my daughter for the first year. I especially feel better about it seeing her wanting to interact with all of the young children she meets. She is craving the social contact and I am glad that it coincides with my need to go back to school. Still, I want her to be in a safe, friendly, non religious, environment.

I should mention that the non-religious aspect is important to me because I want my child to make her own decisions on religion and I would like her to not have it pushed down her throat at a young age. Many religious affiliated daycare centers offer very good daycare. I believe that I may have gone to a non-denominational preschool myself; but I don't remember there being a large focus on the religious aspect just respect for others and respect for self. So, as long as the religious affliated ones aren't doing a great deal of preaching I may be all right with it. Maybe. I'd have to check it out and see how the energy vibes of the place were. If it was like where I went to preschool then I'd be fine; if not, then there is no way I would leave my child in a place that I felt severely uncomfortable.

My other thought is whether I go with a daycare center, or whether I go with a place that moves kids through daycare, preschool, prek, kindergarten...etc. Sigh...

I know that there is no easy way to look into this and there is no easy way to make a decision...but sometimes I would like the easy button for this.

Naps

I don't know what I would do if there weren't naps and naptimes. My daughter has taken to waking up in the middle of the night and being really fussy the last couple of days. I think it's a combination of a few things really: daddy is back at work during the days, and those pesky teeth keep coming in!! *sigh* I'm trying to remind myself that the teeth will come in eventually and those will be the last 4 really hard ones, the rest are molars and we should have a break. I'm also trying to remind myself that she will get used to Daddy not being home and will be able to adjust. Thank goodness she is starting to actually take consistent naps! She never really took consistent ones before, but now she is awake most of the morning (maybe a short nap) and then she has been taking a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon....heaven! That's a long enough stretch of time to actually get something DONE. Before she was taking small cat-naps throughout the day; and boy was it aggravating!

I find it somewhat ironic that I finally find a friend who likes walks, wine, has a daughter, and is a stay at home mom as well....and she and her husband will probably be moved to Columbia, South Carolina (military family) in November. Figures. Oh well, I will persevere, and probably take some classes so I can go back and teach someday. Scheduling that has been interesting since we are also talking about when we want to have our second child. It's coming up...but not quite yet.

New Year...

School Year that is, but because we have such a long break in the summer it does seem to feel like THIS is our New Year rather than January 1st. So, yes, tomorrow morning the new school year officially begins with new teacher orientations, staff orientations, keys being distributed to teachers...etc. Which means that my husband is now off to the land of work again and I'm home with our daughter to play all day. "Play" also being "work" all day; but it's fun work. We might also have another little boy coming to play with us during the days. My husband's co-worker has a little boy about 2 months younger than our daughter...they have already met, shared food, shared beverages, and cried when they parted company. The Arts Department is now joking that if it were a couple hundred years ago they would be betrothed.

I'm actually very excited about the prospect of a play-mate for my daughter, a little extra income for me, and giving my husband's co-worker a break in the cost of child-care. I'm a little anxious because it's two toddlers instead of one, but I'm thinking that really other than feeding (which they should both be starting to self-feed more anyway), changing (they will have to take turns), and being held (thank goodness it's a nice big recliner/rocker) that it will all work out and they will keep each other company and somewhat entertained. We'll have to find a double stroller though; I am NOT carrying toddlers to the park!

The Shrieking Shack

Here we are in our new home, relaxing....and the dogs next door are left alone all day so they bark (pretty much non-stop all day), my daughter has recently discovered her vocal chords and the higher pitched section of her range and the cat has decided to howl (yes, howl, not meow, not meew, not yowl, but HOWL) because he doesn't have food in his food dish. Yep. Welcome to the Shrieking Shack everyone...it doesn't exist in Hogsmead anymore. It's here. At my apartment. Where I'm living....weeeee!!!!

I don't even know our next door neighbors names yet and they are already annoying me. I like to think I'm a fairly easy going, easy to get along with (even if we won't ever be busom buddies), but they are trying my patience. First off they have two dogs that bark when someone isn't home and whenever someone comes up the steps to the apartment (we have a shared landing so they bark whenever we come home). It isn't the dogs fault that they are left alone and are lonely and we actually can't hear them in the bedrooms so...I can live with it. The BIGGEST pet issue for me is the poop. I'm sorry. If you own a pet it is your RESPONSIBILITY TO PICK UP THEIR S***!!!! Do NOT leave it around for the neighbors to dodge and step on. GRRRR! If I had a dog I would pick up their pet poopy and take them on walks every day...not leave them in the apartment and take them out to the landing on a leash so they can reach the grass and stand there smoking a ciggarette until they do their business. It pisses me off. It also makes me mad because I feel like I'm going to be the obnoxious neighbor who tattle tales on them to the management, but I don't want to have to worry about stepping in doggy poo everytime I go outside. I would also like to let my daughter run around in the grass too. Sigh...

To add to the noise level, yesterday they were playing their music so loud that their bass was felt through my walls. It was during nap-time which was part of the reason it annoyed me so much then, but I also don't want to listen to their music! I haven't even met them...

and I already want to strangle them.

Vomit

Not a great title, I know; but it is completely appropriate to my last week or so. My darling daughter...ahem...has apparently decided that if she doesn't like a food item that we have given her (even if it is something she has previously LOVED) she will make herself gag and puke it up all over. Ew. It took us a couple of days to figure this out...we thought she just had a stomach bug at first (and maybe she did the first time...), but she has since shown that she will try to gag herself into making it all come back up if she doesn't like it. I blame my Aunt for this twist in the genetics. My aunt used to do that too; she puked her eggs on the camp counselor that made her eat them. What a lovely thing to look forward to. Not.

The ____insert bad words here____ cats haven't been helping either. They, of course, had to make splotchy spots on my mother in laws carpet while we were there for 6 weeks. They have puked at LEAST 4 times since we have moved into our new apartment. We have been here a week. One week. ONE! GAH!The other day the cat puked somewhere in the apartment and when I went to get my daughter at 7:30 in the morning...I accidentally stepped in cat yak, tracked it all through the apartment and discovered it was on her baby quilt. So...an HOUR later the carpets are all clean, the quilt has been rinsed, I've been showered, and the __________ cat yaks on the carpet again. Does anyone else hear the crack of thunder and see the dark purple red thundercloud in the room? Anyone?

But wait...it gets better. This morning my daughter was having some bowel movement issues and so we put her in the tub knowing she would probably poop in it, but that was the point. I was prepared for that part. I wasn't prepared to have to shampoo the carpets for the small cat pee spot my lovely darling cats decided to leave in the door to our bedroom.

One day without having to scrub something...please? It's all I ask.

Stir Crazy

I love my in-laws. I love their new house. I love to visit them and stay for a few days or even a week....

It's now been close to 5 weeks. I'm done. I want to go home. I want to have a home to go to, and I'm just biting at my nails for next week when we get the keys to our apartment and we can move in. Don't get me wrong, it's been really nice having grandma and grandpa time (and a break for the parents). It's just time to go home. I'm used to having a way to say, "I need private time...AWAY from everyone." It's hard to do that in a house where you are a guest and no space is really "your" space. Makes it really hard for me to relax. It probably doesn't help that all those happy endorphins that are put out by breast feeding are going away because my daughter is, essentially, weaned. I'm sure that is part of what is making me a bit crabby. She has also decided that she doesn't want anyone to sing to her when she's going to bed. That kills me. I love singing to her and I have some great bedtime songs. She is very gentle about it, but she'll just stick her hand across your mouth when you sing to her now. Makes me feel like I'm losing another connection to her. I waver between an intense desire to keep her as my dependent 'baby' and wanting her desperately to get independent enough to play by herself or play more interactive games with me.

Damn, but I forgot how hard growing up can be.

My Wild Child

My Darling Daughter aka "Wild Child"

You are such a wonder to me, both what I expected and not anything I expected at the same time. You are so independent it frightens me. Once you feel you have mastered something you want to do it all by yourself; whether you have truly mastered it or not. You fell down a flight of stairs this past weekend and scared the crap out of your father and I. You run up to dogs which have thankfully greeted you with wagging tails and lolling tongues. You aren't phased by being hissed at by a cat or having a dog bark near you. You are just so smart. You figured out how to open up the 'booby trapped' cabinets. Friends of ours wedged a spoon into the handles to keep it closed and you looked at it for a couple of seconds, wiggled the spoon, then pulled it straight out, dumped it on the floor, and opened the cabinet. Cabinet Proofing a big Zero, my daughter 1. The other toddlers in the room (three of them) never figured it out, they pulled on the handles saw the cabinet wouldn't open and walked away. You are single-minded when you have a goal in mind. I hope that in the future you are able to keep that with you, but not make the mistake of being blind to all that is going on around you.

Love,
Your mother

Month of Milestones

It's been a very busy couple of weeks in our household. First off, we moved out of New Mexico and into our temporary location in Colorado. Thank goodness for "Hoodwinked," if not for that movie we would NEVER have gotten everything packed in time. Of course, I'm still an anal retentive cleaning person and was cleaning until nearly 2 am the night before we left and still was cleaning the next morning, courtesy of our cats puking on the carpets, the freshly shampooed carpets, during the night....have I mentioned they are for sale? Needless to say, I was a rampaging wacko and decided to drive one car by myself so as not to piss everyone around me off. It was a good decision and 3 hours down the road I was finally not annoyed with everyone around me. Three hours, a thunderstorm, and torrential downpour later and there was a lovely glass of wine in my hand and Grandma was entertaining the baby.

My daughter has been "cruising" on the furniture for months now. She started pulling herself up to furniture the moment she started walking and we were actually expecting her to walk much sooner. However, my daughter seems to be a perfectionist and started walking 3 days after Father's Day and 1 day before my birthday. It was a very nice present to see her zooming around on her chubby little legs. She is very proud of herself, but it has made traveling more difficult. She wants to walk everywhere and she no longer wants to hold your hand. Independent little thing wants to do it all by herself.

We are visiting my family in Alaska this week and the airplane ride was...interesting. We took a red eye because we thought she would pass out on the way up and stay asleep the whole trip. Which might have happened if the little girl sitting next to us would have let her sleep when I said, (Repeatedly)"I think we're going to try to let her sleep now..." and variations. She finally switched seats with her mother; who then turned on the seat light and proceeded to knit for an hour. I was a little pissy. It was past midnight and here she is knitting away all the while a child next to her is whimpering with exhaustion. To give her credit she didn't care that my daughter was making noises or occasionally kicking her...but she didn't turn out the light for a long time. So, a brief note to travelers...I have the right to be on this plane with a child. I also have a right to politely ask your older child to stop playing with my baby, and I have a right to politely ask you to turn off your light. Sigh...

I have a few friends who are pregnant or just had a baby and many of them are breastfeeding (YEAH!!), and they are all figuring out what is going to work best for them in terms of pumping, how long to nurse, when to introduce the bottle...etc. I said I would nurse my daughter until she was ready to stop or until she was about two. I nursed for a long time so I was very surprised when my daughter decided to just stop. She had been decreasing her demands for nursing gradually, but one day she just didn't request it at all. She would sign "milk" and I'd show her her milk cup, which she would snatch out of my hands and start drinking out of. That was that.

She's learning new signs too, which I love. She just started really picking them up when she turned a year. We had been signing with her for months, but she just kind of looked at us like we were crazy, then while in Toronto for a wedding she signed, "more milk, more milk" and then "all done/finished" when she had had enough. We were all a little bug-eyed at that one. She now signs: milk, all done/finished, food, please (still working on it a bit, she says it on someone else), change (new and learning it now), again, more, want, thank you (new and still learning)
She says: Puppy, baby, momma, dadda, and (sometimes) thank you

It's been a crazy month and it's only going to get more crazy as she starts to color with crayons, learns more signs, wants us to read her stories, and listens to music and dances.

The Daunting Task

My husband and I are trying to get my daughter to sleep on her own in her own crib (or pack and play since we aren't in our new place yet). I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!! We are essentially taking a very secure and happy baby and placing her in a space she is uncomfortable with and insecure in and making her stay there until she falls asleep (a FITFUL sleep) from utter exhaustion. This is normal? This is humane behavior? What the....argh! There are not words to describe the utter horror and panic on my daughter's face. I honestly feel it is cruel and unusual punishment, and I feel like the ultimate betrayer of trust and love. Our daughter does not understand why we are sticking her in that pack and play and she doesn't understand why we won't pick her up. I'm very VERY unhappy about this. She is too young to understand and already going through an insecure phase with moving and everything else. But...... If we don't do this now, then when? We cannot have her in bed with us, or even in the same room with us, forever; nor do we want to. There HAS to be another way to do this!

"Civilized" societies put their children in their own beds and, sometimes, in their own rooms from day one. Ripped from the womb that has housed, cherished, and nurtured them as well as all the sounds and warmth associated with it, and stuck in a pen. A padded pen with weird objects floating over head....yeah, seems perfectly natural to me.

I'll say it. I am PROUD to be a mom who has had her daughter secure and safely in bed with her parents. The family bed. Now...I'm not saying that I want it forever, I don't. At some point our daughter needs to go in her own space and into her own room. I do want my bed back. However, it has been a wonderful experience to have that little body snuggled up close to me (and occasionally kicking me) during the night. I sleep better with her in bed with me than I do when she's in her crib or her pack and play. I think I am having trouble letting go of the experience, because if she's in her own bed, if she's in her own room...then she isn't really a baby-baby anymore. She'll be my little girl toddler....and I'm holding onto the baby for all I'm worth right now. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe she senses I want to hold onto it more too. I don't know....but I think that there has to be a better way...

Constipation....

What a lovely topic, I know, but it is one we have just recently experienced with our daughter. We just recently spent an entire day moving, and so driving, to our new summer location before we move to our more permanent location. Between spending 7-8 hours sitting in a car and eating many solids like cheerios, gold fish, milk, cheese, and some of mommy's (my) sandwich our daughter got a little constipated....the poor baby!! It was an awful experience to see my daughter straining and straining (and screaming and SCREAMING) to get out a very large, hard, poop. She did end up passing it without help; as we were pulling in to the Urgent Care parking lot. About 30 minutes later and we were out of there with instructions to give her juice (which she hates), prunes (which she loves), and nothing but water, fruit juice, and fruit for 24 hours. Good thing she likes grapes and cherries, and prunes in applesauce.

Throughout this whole experience my husband and I were talking, at length, about poo. It's completely deranged how much a parent will get involved in their child's bowel movements...and talk about it. We ask each other "What did it look like? Was it hard or soft? Did it have food bits in it?" I am being completely serious. I thought being pregnant was bad for the talks about mucus, pregnancy gas, constipation, heartburn, and other bodily functions...but having a baby has made it infinitely worse. If the poor kid could only understand what we were talking about she would be red with embarrassment.

Or maybe not.

Songs in my head

I have been going to sleep with Beyonce's "Single Ladies" song stuck in my head for the last 3 days, ever since my husband played it for our daughter to see if she would dance to it. (She did and it was VERY cute, but that's BESIDE the point) Have you ever tried to sleep with a catchy song like that in your head? I just feel like bouncing, and I catch my feet twitching! Good thing we had our POD arrive today for our big move. I spent much of today hauling boxes down the stairs into the POD and all in the 98 degree heat. YUCK! But I'll sleep well tonight. Thank goodness for "Hoodwinked!" If it weren't for that movie I think my husband and I would have had a VERY cranky daughter today. The "goody two shoes" mommy in me is going 'Oh dear, oh dear, she didn't get a lot of stimulation today! Oh no, watching that much TV is bad for her.' The "practical" mommy in me is going 'So what?! It's not like she watches TV all day EVERY day, but you need to get some stuff done and she is happy in her bouncy chair and entertained by the movie. Move on, deal with it, and PACK the POD!!!' "Practical" Mommy won this round; although I MIGHT have dreams about "livin' like the bandit" tonight..."with a ring on it." Or as my husband just said "All the single critters." Oi!

I'll always remember her garden...

My Darling Daughter,

We found out yesterday that your Great Grandmother Ella Frieda Wood Hudson (Elfrieda, Nanny, Meme) passed away over the weekend. You and she first met when you were 1-2 months old. She came out to New Mexico, at 93 years old, just to see your beautiful face and hold you in her arms. It was a very special visit, her last out of state visit. I think seeing her great grand-daughter and hearing about you for the last year helped keep her going when she was feeling old and lonely. You brightened up her days just as you brighten everyone's around you.

I wanted to tell you about your Great Grandmother, because you won't get to ask her to tell you these stories herself. She was born in October in 1915, and was the oldest daughter; as are you. She used to walk to school and be passed up by the little rich girls in their buggies (they didn't offer rides often, if at all). She lived on a ranch, the ranch house is still there in Fulton, California. She loved prunes. As a baby you did too. She loved the outdoors and gardening. I'll always remember her garden, filled with flowers, imagination, and a little magic. She was an extraordinary woman who lived through a great many things and saw a great number of changes in the world. She loved to knit and made you a blanket, two hats, and two booties. She knit me some things as well, which you can have when you are older. She was many things; but to me she was my grandmother, and I'll always remember her garden.

Love,
Your mother

Inspired

I know I said I would 'never over-decorate my child's room'....well, I take that back. I don't think I'm going to go over-board with a "young" theme, murals, everything coordinated...but I am REALLY excited about my daughter having her own room and maybe putting a little personality into it rather than just furniture. I grew up in a house that was old and my father would not let me paint the walls in my room. I was forever doomed to a life of eggshell white. I would have loved to have done a little room decorating and really made the space reflect who I was. I never got a chance to and now...I want to be able to give my daughter some of the options I didn't get. She's one, so she probably won't care too much about how I decorate her room for her, but I really want it to be able to grow with her. It can't be stuff that she'll outgrow in 2-3 years...maybe when she's a teenager! She's such a happy bubbly baby (toddler) most of the time that I think COLOR!! Sometimes she's really quiet and just likes to play by herself...and then I think cool colors, calming....Help!! So, here are my ideas...we'll see what our new space will lend itself to:

Bright colors: tangerine, turquoise blue, pink (SMALL amounts), small amounts of a purple, green, and yellow and her bedroom furniture which is a dark cherry brown

Cool colors: salmon pink, robin's egg blue, white, light yellow and her bedroom furniture which is a dark cherry brown (Although I'd prefer white with this color scheme)

I'd love to have a fabric tent for her to play in no matter which color scheme Maw-Bell Designs (link below) has a great pattern for one. They also have a fun crib bedding set; a little romantic for the bright colors...but it might be a fun combination all the same...a little "sassy."

I also want her to have some shelving, a dresser (I really wish I could have my dad's childhood dresser, restained it would have been PERFECT...alas, it is gone in the world of garage sales), and a small activities table. I found a fun one of those at Target the other day, with storage underneath...that's what I like to see (extra storage)!

I doubt I'll get to pain the walls either way since we'll be renting for at least a year. Too bad...I get really tired of white walls.

http://www.maw-belldesigns.com/

15 Days

Countdown to the move: 15 days and we will be in Denver, CO for the duration of the summer before moving to Colorado Springs.

We are all starting to get excited...and a little overwhelmed about the packing process. We have some boxes packed and more empty boxes hanging out....probably will still need more than what we have. It's completely frightening how much stuff you accumulate when A) You stay in one place for a while and B) When you have a child. There is SO much more stuff just in things we've gotten with our daughter: and we are being ruthless in getting rid of things this time.

I'm really looking forward to getting to where we are going...or rather just KNOWING where our apartment is going to be. We don't, yet, have a place to live in the Springs because we really want to take a good look around and find the place that is going to work best for us. It's a good decision, but it leaves us in limbo until the question is all settled.

Ah, sigh...well, perhaps I'll finish watching "Shrek" and start packing more boxes...

One Year Doctors...

My poor poor baby! She had her 'well child checkup' for one year today. =( Lots of shots!! She's doing really well with them. Napping and a little clingy, but...who can blame her?! 5 total, although we COULD have done 4 today and then 2 at 18 months. I decided that since we are moving and we don't, yet, have a new pediatrician in Colorado Springs that I'd get all the ones we needed to get done done. The other 18 month shot isn't an 'urgent' one; if we don't start it RIGHT then she will be just fine. I imagine that we'll be able to get it done; I mean she's going to be 18 months in November so that's PLENTY of time to get a new pediatrician.

That's one of the things I hate about moving. Switching doctors, getting medical records transfered...grrr...it is annoying. Especially when you really like the doctors you are already with. I really am not looking forward to finding a new OBGYN. I LOVE my Doctor. She delivered my daughter, she's competent and funny....sigh...oh well!!

I think I need to take a moment and remind myself of the wonderful things about moving:
Meet new people.
New place, new apartment (WHOOHOO!!!)
Closer to family
Easier to get to family that is farther away
Better economy where we're going
A chance to really clean out all the crap that we accumulate
A chance to get new playmates for my daughter
A chance to go back to college and finish Grad School
Making additions to our family
Making additions to our family of friends
Ah, okay, feel better...

"How old is your baby....boy?"

Yes, I know that my daughter has very little in the way of hair and what she does have is strawberry blonde and not well noticeable. I also DO NOT plaster her in pink clothing every single day. She wears orange, green, blue, purple, yellow, pink (occasionally)...you get the idea. She wears a lot of colors and they don't always scream GIRLIE GIRL...which, in my opinion, is the point. You don't have to plaster your child in pink if she's a girl. Nor do you need to plaster your child in blue if it's a boy...I digress. The POINT being that if you come up to a stranger with a baby and you CANNOT tell if it's a boy or a girl the polite thing MIGHT be to say, "Oh, how old is your baby?" and then the parent MIGHT say, "Oh, he/she, is ___(however old)."

But no...no...at LEAST 3 times in the day TODAY (my daughter's birthday), I was asked 'oh how old is your little boy?' or 'Oh, your son is so cute.'...etc. Sigh. I was very nice because they were trying to be nice even if it was annoying the crap out of me. She was in an orange dress with flowers on it for part of the day and a purple and blue shorts outfit for the rest. Yeah, not screaming "GIRL", but....did they really look? I'm guessing not and they were just making polite conversation. Still, I really do think that if you don't know the sex of the baby just refer to them as 'your child' or 'your baby' because it gives the parents an 'in' to be able to say if the baby is a boy or a girl. It's a little thing, but parents take it kind of personally. Especially, when people get it wrong...

So, I had an adventure with my daughter today. At the crosswalk to the grocery store actually. I have been known, at low traffic times, to dash across the road rather than walk the block up to the light and then BACK 1/2 a block to the store. However, if there's a bit more traffic I do the proper thing and go to the light hit the walk button and await my turn to go. Today I went up to the crosswalk, waited, and started crossing. A couple cars turned right before I got to the other side of the 4 lane street. No biggie since I wasn't even over there yet and they had plenty of time to go. However, as I got more than 1/2 way more cars just kept turning not even paying attention to the fact that I was now standing at a stop in the road waiting for the stupid drivers to stop turning so I could go across. I have a NEON LIME green stroller. It's hard to miss, but no...I waited for probably 3 cars to go before there was a nice woman who was obviously rolling her eyes at the stupendous stupidity of the drivers before her. She was nice. I hope she has good car karma for years to come. Moronic drivers.....

Naps

I love naps. I really do. I like them when I get to take them; and I like them when my daughter takes them. I especially like naps when I'm really tired. Or when I have an extremely OVER tired baby. My daughter has been asleep somewhere between 2.5 and 3 hours now. I think the swimming pool must have worn her out. We went swimming for the 2nd time this week; we went yesterday and she had a blast. Today before I had even gotten all the way through the gate to the pool area she was bouncing and squealing with glee. It was SO cute!! She loves the pool, she loves to swim. I've even dunked her under the water. She comes up, rubs her eyes, and then goes right back to squealing and screeching and trying to go on her stomach. I think I might need to get her some water wings because she really does just want to swim. She kicks her legs and feet, she paddles with her hands, she just doesn't quite get the face out of water thing. I guess it could be worse; she could be totally scared to even be in the water or to have her face get wet. I'll take the
"swimming" and just know that I'm going to have to get her lessons sooner rather than later. I know that they have toddler swim classes (toddler and parent/s come and help teach to swim and not be afraid of the water) I guess I'll look into some when we get to Colorado this summer or next.

She's going to be one year old in a week. It doesn't seem possible for time to have gone by this quickly, but it did.

Growl....just Growl.

I'm having an 'I hate everyone and everything and men in particular suck' moment. It's just a moment, because in reality I LOVE my daughter. I LOVE my husband; and I suppose I like my cats (but they are in the dog house right now for excessive puking). I'm sick. Sick as in 102 degree fever for two days straight, coughing like a madwoman, and get my fever back if I try to do too much. Obviously, since I'm sitting here writing this, I've been trying to do too much and my fever is back making me a cranky psycho. So, yes, here it is everyone. I HATE being sick! I'm a miserable bitch when I'm sick. And I'm even worse when I end up cleaning and packing BY MYSELF!

There's the root of my anger right now. I'm feeling very much like I might as well be a single mom throughout this move because, in the end, I'll end up doing 90% of the packing 95% (or more) of the cleaning, and almost all of the organizing before we leave. Part of that is because I'm a total anal retentive CONTROL freak when it comes to packing and cleaning and getting things ready to go. (Yes, I am a bit anal about my cleaning too. Those of you skeptics out there who have seen my apartment can put your eyebrows back down please.) I honestly would probably worry about some things even if my mother or professional movers packed them. My husband being a theatre teacher doesn't help because he spends long LONG hours at the school. I don't think people get what teachers have to go through to teach your kids. People are always telling me "Oh, but you have summers off and you get to go home when the kids do..." as if the work actually ends when the teacher gets to go home. HA! There are papers to grade, tests to make, tests to grade, projects to grade, lessons to plan...and THEN that whole whoopla about the summer. Most teachers have to do some sort of schooling in order to maintain their teaching licenses. Classes that THEY (not the state or the public taxpayer money) have to pay for. Also, because teachers are very underpaid many of them end up taking on seasonal summer jobs in order to help make ends meet for the rest of the year. (I know I've gone off my original rant, but this is important too) So, to all of the people out there reading this and whining about how the 'teachers aren't doing their jobs' BITE ME! (So, I've heard that a lot lately and I needed to rant about it...)

BACK on topic here for a moment. My husband is a teacher and he works really long hours because he's a theatre teacher. During the run of a show (at least 12 weeks out of every year and more like 16) he's at the school an average of 12 hours a day. Sometimes 15. At the end of the run I totally enjoy him coming home at 3:45 and spending some family time together before the sun sets and our daughter is bundled off to bed. However, at the end of this spring's show he took on another project with the kids...so he's been at the school until at least 5 if not 8 or 8:30 for the last couple weeks. On the one hand I'm totally thrilled that the kids have gotten comfortable enough to be creative and he's having a ton of fun. That's awesome. On the other hand IT IS MY TURN TO HAVE MY HUSBAND DARNIT! Especially since we're moving in 5 weeks and need to pack stuff up.

This of course leads me back to my original title for this post: WHY can't men see the things that need to be done that WOMEN see? Anyone have the answer to that? Anyone at all?

White hairs?!!?!

Tomorrow is the beginning of May. I can't believe a year has gone by so fast. My daughter is almost one. She's got 10 teeth, she eats macaroni and cheese like it was candy (THAT comes from her father), and she's grown so much! Sometimes I look at her sleeping and think, "Where did my baby go?" I know everyone told me it would go fast, and I believed them then, but I FEEL it more now. She's so beautiful. No hair, or very little and what there is of it is a reddish blonde. Her eyes are still an indeterminate shade of gray/green/blue/brown, and she's not quite walking. Still, she'll be a year old and it's a major milestone. I'm not sure my husband and I are ready for it. I went very nostalgic and looked back on all of my pregnancy photos....wow, I have certainly changed a lot from the day before she was born to what I look like today. My boobs are bigger, my stomach is flatter (but with lots of stretchy skin...ew!), my legs are thinner (hooray walking!!!), my arms are more muscular (20 lbs baby), my hair is a LOT longer, and I've found at LEAST two white, yes WHITE, hairs in my head. I've pulled them both out so no one go looking!

May is going to be a rough month. Too much going on...end of year banquets at the High School, traveling back and forth to Colorado to begin the moving process (which includes yet another interview...as if we couldn't make this more complicated on our own). An international wedding in Toronto, Canada. Last minute photo shoots for my photography business before I shut down for the move and begin the lengthy process of figuring out my sole-proprietor Colorado Business License and all that THAT entails. Packing. Packing. Packing. Packing. Thank goodness for my in-laws! And, more importantly, thank goodness we all get along and LIKE one another. Ladies and Gentlemen who are about to get married or engaged: your in-law relationship is an important one. I don't really have anything else to add to that, it's just important and should be treated that way.

No WONDER I'm getting WHITE hairs in my head!

A Project Update for the Morbidly Curious

Sewing: 1 zipper on a baby dress, 1 baby dress needing put together, 1 baby coat before May, 2 dresses that need zippers (by monday), 2 skirts that need zippers (by monday), 1 dress that needs hemmed, 2 white lab coats (by monday), 1 white apron (by monday), two sleeves on suit coat, 1 pair of suit pants, 2 suit skirts, 1 suit jacket, 1 jacket that needs sleeves, 1 top, 1 pair of jeans needing a pocket fix, 1 quilt to finish quilting, 3 quilts to finish putting together, 1 bunny that needs a hole sewed shut
Total: 23

Cross-stitch: 1 "Baby Princess", 3 Christmas Stockings, 1 Cat Ballerinas (probably won't finish), 1 Ocean Creatures (probably won't finish), 1 Handfasting (which needs to be done by next October...I better get on it or send it to Laura) I'm not counting the others since I haven't started them
Total: 7

Craft: None (WHOOT WHOOT!)
Beading: NONE (WHOOHOOEEEE!) I gave them all to my friend and they are now gone gone gone!

Grand Total: 30. Wow, I thought it was going to be much worse. I guess I'm getting a move on this year.

The Vast Methods of Moving

Yes, that's right! We are moving! Out of New Mexico and up the road into Colorado. We are very excited and, truth be told, a little daunted. I don't think I realized how much easier it was to pack things 1) without a child in tow, and 2) when you've moved every year. I know it may sound crazy, but when you've gotten used to moving every summer the packing just happens automatically. The boxes get packed up and stacked away, the floors get cleaned, the apartment gets cleaned and inspected for last minute items, the trucks get there... everything starts to move like clockwork. We haven't moved in two years...so boxes have gotten thrown away, things aren't nearly as organized to begin with; and we have a kid. Oh yeah, our daughter DEFINITELY throws a wrench into packing sometimes. She likes to 'help', as in she takes items out of a box after I've put them in the box. She does the same thing with laundry. I fold it and put it on the stack, she takes the whole stack and throws/drags them on the floor. Great fun. At least she is amused and entertained, and really, in the grand scheme of life folding clothes two or three times really doesn't harm you. (Although at the time it really makes you want to pull your hair out) I've started giving her her own basket and her own box to put things into and take things out of. It doesn't distract her forever from my pile, but it does help.

Speaking of my daughter she is, FINALLY, sleeping in her crib most of the night and during nap times. We still have to fight her occasionally. For all the advice of "Gentle Sleep Solution" my daughter just didn't want to go to sleep. She spent 2 to 3 weeks not even wanting to sleep with us, she just didn't want to go to sleep at all. So, we figured if she's fighting it regardless we might as well make it into the crib and some independent sleeping. Thank goodness for my husband's infinite patience with her. Perhaps it's because I have her all day and I play and entertain her most of the day, but by the time night comes my patience for screaming is about 20 minutes max. Then I give in and pick her up for a while. My husband is much much better at the getting to sleep, by herself, in the crib part. His pioneering efforts with her have paid off; it still has a ways to go, but it's getting much better.

To segue into 'getting better' my mother has finished radiation treatments and is done with her first round of chemotherapy; and has at least 3 more to go. She was really not happy with the nausea/vomiting side effects; can't blame her. I'd rather be in pain than N/V(nausea/vomiting).

I think this might be my first post for April. It might, as far as time constraints go, be my only post for April. We'll see. There's a play next week, I have costumes to make still (yes I know I'm insane), we need to get some moving plans finalized...May is around the corner with a 1st Birthday Party (Jungle Theme), a year checkup with lots of shots (ew), and a trip to Toronto for a wedding. Next it will be June....OMG it's going to be upon us much much too fast! ACK!

My other self

Have you ever been awake while your partner is fast asleep and really, REALLY, wanted to just kick them to wake them up? I don't always, but when I have to be awake with a sick baby there is this horrible, mean, vicious, vengeful side of me that would really like to kick my husband awake so that he has to share in the pain of being awake forever while the baby is screaming and coughing...etc. I have a sick baby this last week, and I admit there has been a couple times over the week where I've been sitting up in bed with my daughter while my husband snores away and I have been so sorely tempted to just kick him so that he has to be awake with me. It's not a part of myself that I am overly proud of, but it's still there all the same. My hubby has been really pretty good about the whole cranky side this week. He had to work late and ended up bringing me dinner. It was perfect. Now, if only I could teach him to cook!

Rose Colored Glasses

My husband sent me a text this morning:

"apparently it is gang initiation week. heard this at school. so if you're out and about and see a random baby car seat left on the side of the road just keep driving. they apparently like to shoot whoever pulls over. just fyi."

How sick is that? I mean there are good samaritans out there going to stop to make sure that the car seat isn't an abandoned baby, or to move it out of the way, and what's going to happen? They are probably going to get shot at. It's SICK! I can't believe I live in a place that has this. It sickens me that there are people who would do that to one another. It really makes me long for my childhood where the worst thing I worried about was the elk or the bison blocking me out of the house. Or the tourists driving on the sidewalk because they aren't paying attention to the road. Now, I have to worry about living in a city where there are gangs that shoot at people who pull over. I have to worry about where I'm going to send my daughter to school; and I tell you right now that home school is looking more and more appealing!! I really wish that this wasn't happening. My rose colored glasses have been ripped away...and all I see are the cracked lenses lying abandoned on the ground.

Long time no write....whoops!

Lots and lots of things have been going on since I wrote on here last. Mostly, we've just been out of town. A lot. The good things about being out of town are that we get to see family and close friends; who are family as well. The bad part about being out of town is driving for hours and hours and hours....and sometimes not finding a hotel at the end of that. Yep. We drove from San Diego to Phoenix via L.A. (don't do that by the way...just take 8 instead!!!) When we got to Phoenix (very very late) we discovered that there were NO hotel rooms available. I'm sure if we had spent ANOTHER hour looking we might have found one, but we did check 6-8 hotels and called a few more. Seriously, there was nothing. So, after an hour of checking hotels and driving around in the dark we decided to drive the rest of the way to Flagstaff; where there was a vacancy. 2 hours later we pulled in...3 am. Oh how I loathe 3 am.

Unfortunately, my daughter seems to think that 3 am is a SUPURB time to be screaming. I'm not sure if it's from lots of over stimulus and traveling, or if it's from teething. Whichever, she's not sleeping well. Which, of course, means I am not sleeping well either. UGH! I really thought it would get better once her front teeth on top had finally come in. No such luck apparently. I've had two suggestions to move her crib into another room; which I'd love to do if we had the room for it. We don't. And one suggestion on a white noise machine. I might actually have to try that one.

On a family note my mother is just about ready to start her chemotherapy. So, by the end of July she should be all done. The countdown for that begins next Tuesday. Her radiation went alright although she was in a lot of pain by the end of it. We are all trying to keep our positive energy up to be strong for her when it gets hard. Some days that's easier than others. My grandmother is also not doing well. She's 95 this year, so it's to be expected that she's slowing down, but she doesn't want to accept the help that would make it easier for her to stay in her own home longer. I tried to set up someone to come and go grocery shopping for her and be there to take her to and from appointments, but she adamantly didn't want the services. It's sad because today she didn't have the energy to make her bed after changing the sheets. She does one thing a day whether it be an appointment, getting groceries, changing the sheets, stepping out into her garden...etc. She just doesn't have the energy to continue to do everything she used to and I know it wears on her. She hasn't gone out to really work in her garden (extensive and beautiful) since before Christmas. I know that was something she always wanted to be able to do and she has said before that when she couldn't anymore she wouldn't be happy. More than once she says she sits in her chair waiting to die. She says it with a laugh and a smile, but sometimes I wonder...how much does she want that?

A Musical Interlude

Tuesday my daughter and I had the most enjoyable afternoon listening to a jazz quartet practice in a garage across the street. The gentleman that owns the house has played jazz piano in the garage with it open, or partially open, before, but this time he added drums, a bass, and a sax. It was so nice to listen to them jam in the early afternoon sunshine. Very very relaxing. So much nicer than hearing the schmuck with the car. Oh yes! I'm not sure I've mentioned before but he sold his house *HAPPY DANCE* and has completely MOVED OUT!!! I'm thrilled. Just jumping for joy thrilled. Especially, since the new neighbors look to be really nice people; with a motorcycle, but we can deal with that when it comes.

I haven't written in a while; it's been a busy couple weeks. First off, my husband is job hunting again (as usual), so we've been off to job fairs and job interviews this last weekend. Hopefully, something will come of them and we can move to be closer to family. If not, at least we'll be moving across town to be closer to friends. That's the best I can say about staying here. My husband's not going to grow in the same ways as a teacher here than he would if we were to move. The populations are just very different. Here it's more about how to continuously motivate the kids to even turn in their work. Where we hope to move he would be pushed academically to grow and expand that way. It would be nice for him to be able to really 'open his teaching box' so to speak.

I asked my mother if the laundry pile ever went away. She said, "No." That wasn't very encouraging. Every time I get all caught up on laundry: folded, put away, all washed...we go on another little trip and I have to start over as soon as I get home. I hate it. I don't mind washing and folding and putting away; I hate spending my ENTIRE day doing it (or two). Oh well...I guess if I want clean clothes by Saturday I had better start some wash now. Grrr.

Running through Nap Time SOS

You know the song in the movie "French Kiss," that Meg Ryan sings while she's getting up her nerve to get on an airplane; "I hate Paris in the springtime, I hate Paris in the Fall, I hate Paris..." etc. Well, I sing/chant my own version of that sing while I'm out jogging. Sometimes it's out loud and all of the bikers, runners, and dog walkers sharing the trail with me look at me funny, but mostly I sing it in my head. It goes like this (with moderate variations on the theme): I hate running in the springtime, I hate running in the fall, I hate running when it's rainy or it's sunny....etc" I don't know why I sing it because I don't hate it as much as I could or as much as I used to. I don't particularly like to push myself to do it, but I can usually run for about 1/3-1/2 of my walk so...I'm not trying to over do it. The gagging, painful, "I can't Breathe!!" scenario isn't my style. I'm much more for the jog until it gets almost to that point, slow down and walk...and maybe I'll start jogging again before I get home. Maybe.

My daughter is having a sleeping issue. She's teething a lot, so she likes to just be distracted from it from sun up to sun down. So, nap time and bed time are not her favorites. I was going to get her to try sleeping in her crib, but the teeth thing means she's getting me up 2-5 times a night again and I hate crawling out of bed to pick her up and do what's necessary and then spend the next 45 minutes to an hour trying to get her back to sleep in her crib. Usually her persistent crying wins out. After speaking with one of my friends about it, her daughter is 3 months older than mine, she shared some valuable information with me: 9-12 months is not usually a great time to try to get them to sleep someplace new. They are aware of where mommy and daddy are, they are usually teething, and would prefer to be someplace they KNOW is safe. So...temporary hold on the crib sleeping idea. Getting her to sleep is still an issue. Crying, even while being held, is a main theme. Yesterday I got her to sleep in my arms while she was sitting in my lap leaning back against me, it was great! She slept for almost 3 hours! All that is totally awesome...except that I couldn't get up. I was lying on my back with her on top of me, with only one book within reach. No cell phone. No husband and home. No one I could get in touch with. It was so ridiculously laughable. Nap-time SOS

Restaurant Etiquette

My husband and I just had the worst experience we have ever had while dining out this weekend. We are not hard to please in a restaurant as we have both worked in food service in our lives and understand some of the 'back room' stuff that goes on that most guests don't know about. However, this was, by far, the worst dining experience we have ever had. We had a lot of errands to run so we went to a restaurant near where we were doing most of our errand running. We've eaten there before and usually have a decent dining experience, but this time we were put next to a large table of very rude people. I almost asked to be moved because our daughter was with us and she's prone to being a little loud and I didn't want to ruin their lunch out if she was. Wouldn't have mattered they were talking so loud that my husband and I couldn't even have a conversation, I could barely hear myself think much less him, and our daughter's squeals were totally drowned out by their obnoxious laughter and conversation; which was, at one point, about one of their daughter's having a boy in her bed all night at 14. And on and on about what she might have been doing. In detail. Loudly. Then they went on to have an in depth conversation about their first sexual experiences. All the while using curse words and loud guffaws...

I'm happy that they were having such a great time. However, their great time shouldn't make my, or any one else's, dining experience be terrible. It didn't help that our waitress came to our table a total of 3 times. I'm not sure if she just wasn't very experienced or was totally wrapped up in catering to the one, large, table behind us. I don't get why people can't be AWARE of other people around them. All it would have taken for us to have a good time would be for them to have lowered their voices enough that my husband and I could hear each other. Gah!

Cold Feet

This is for all the wonderful busy bodies out there who think they know what's best for babies in regards to their feet. Going out to and from the car without socks and shoes on is not going to harm their little feet. If it was truly cold enough for a 5-10 minute trip to do some harm they would be bundled up in a snow suit anyway. Furthermore, if your child is learning to walk going barefoot is best. Babies who are barefoot while learning to walk, walk faster and are apt to walk properly. Babies who are in shoes all the time are apt to walk slower and not walk properly. So there.

"As your baby starts to walk, let him go barefoot as much as possible. Babies use their feet and toes to grip as they are learning to walk. When shoes are necessary, flexible ones with protective, but soft soles are best." This is a direct quote from a pamphlet at my Pediatrician's office. I just wanted to set the records straight for all of those wonderful busy bodies who keep stopping me in the stores or at the post office and giving me lectures on my baby's "poor cold tootsies...yes you tell your mama you need socks and shoes on." Gag. I'm ready to throttle the next one who tells me that.

Project Update

I'm not doing well in the project realm. I keep starting new things; I'm finishing them as I start them (mostly) but I keep doing new things....darn!

Cross-stitch: 1 stocking almost done, 2 stockings in the 'worked on' stage, 2 projects (from high school...) that I may finish someday, and 1 project that I haven't started (I'm not counting it since I haven't started it). Total: 5

Crafts: Hanging the letters for my daughter and painting two picture frames.
Total: 3

Sewing: 2 jackets needing sleeves, 1 pair of pants, 1 skirt, 1 jacket to finish completely, 1-2 pairs of pants needing hems, 1 dress needing a zipper, 1 dress in the pattern stage, 3 quilts still needing piecing (I added one...) 3 quilt tops to send off to my friends to quilt (THANK GOODNESS FOR FRIENDS, I no longer need to count these since they will be in the mail tomorrow!) 3 Halloween costumes for this year (not started but needing to be done all the same). Total: 15

Total in All: 23 Hooray! Progress HAS been made!

I did end up giving away the rest of my beading so I wouldn't even have to worry about it anymore. I also decided that some of the pants I was going to hem didn't really suit me anymore so I'm not going to bother with them either; they are going to goodwill.

Dishes and the craptastic apartment

I know that dishwashers are becoming more and more common place in our lives and they really do make doing the dishes easier, but there is something very calming and relaxing about doing the dishes by hand. Of course, with a 9 month old, there really isn't enough time to do that because you have to watch them every second of the day. I really need another baby gate. Okay, what I really need is to not be living in this crap hole apartment anymore. Seriously, the walls don't match up well enough to even PUT a baby gate where we need them. When we moved in over a year ago I pushed to the back of my mind all of the things that were bad about this apartment because I did not want to face them. Now that other things in our lives are going wonderfully all of the bad things are coming back to haunt me. For instance, we have spots on our floor that are 'squishy.' There's no other word for it. I told the apartment managers the first week we moved in because I did NOT want to fall through the floor. Someone came over to take a look and proclaimed that the floor was sound, but the sub floor wasn't installed properly and we'd have to move into another apartment in order for them to fix it. Since I had JUST finished unpacking most of our stuff I wasn't really interested in it. Now, of course, I just keep finding more squishy spots. I hate it. You walk and the whole floor bounces with you. When I'm dancing around with the baby I pray that my foot doesn't fall through the floor. But if it did I would want two years worth of rent money returned to me. As it is I am going to refuse to pay a cleaning fee for the carpet because they are going to have to rip up all of the carpet to fix the squishy spots anyway (or they should because it's negligence not to now that I've pointed it out). So, I'm not going to pay for something that they should fix. Hopefully, they are good enough of a management company to fix that sort of thing and not try to charge us for it. If not there will be words. Many of them, in fact. The kitchen is kind of crappy too. I have two drawers. That's it. Two. What can you do with two drawers? Not much. Our stove is exactly the same as the one we had in our condo that we replaced because the oven stopped working (this one works fine, but it's old). The refrigerator is old too. It hums and today made an interesting rattle hum noise. I'm not going to say anything, if it dies the management company might put in a new one. The bathrooms in this place are frightening. They are small and the water molds. It's very odd, but the water in the bathrooms seems different than the water from the kitchen and it molds; easily. EW!!!!

Not to say that there aren't good things. The bedrooms are large, the closets are huge, and we have a washer and dryer. For the price we're paying that's actually pretty good since I've been searching for new apartments and none in our price range have washer and dryers. That sucks.

My Week

I realize that I have not blogged in quite a while. In my defense I was out of town and then recovering from being out of town. So there. I surprised one of my very best friends at her baby shower last weekend. It was in Montana, so my daughter and I hopped on 3 airplanes, traveled for 9 hours and totally shocked her. It was a lot of fun. Being there and seeing her I mean; the traveling to and from was not. Every time I get on an airplane security gets worse for me. This time not only were my bags checked, but I was frisked. My daughter was also frisked on the way home. I realize that TSA has a job to do and it's supposed to keep us all safe; but darn it it makes it harder and HARDER to travel with an infant! With that in mind I'd like to rate a few airports:

Salt Lake City - by far the BEST airport to travel through with an infant. They have family bathrooms (in logical places), they have changing stations in the women's restrooms as well, they have at least 3 playgrounds for kids to roam around in with toys and a 'house' to play in, and they have a map of the airport placed in logical places that indicate different shops, where you are...etc. My favorite one to get stuck in with an infant by far.

Phoenix - oh Phoenix, how I loathe thee! I will say that I didn't get to spend a ton of time in the Phoenix airport because I was rushing through security there. Again. Be wary oh travelers of Phoenix! If you have to change airlines you must go through security again; after catching a bus to a different terminal (make sure it's the right bus since they have three different ones that take you different places). I will also say that although Phoenix claims to be 'the friendliest airport' many of the people I ran into were rude, not helpful, and downright condescending. I'm a mom traveling alone with an infant in a carseat and no one helped me get onto or off of the bus. The drivers just sat there semi-glaring at me to move faster. Grrrr.

Atlanta - not too bad. As a large airport there are lots of amenities, as well as lots of places to get lost. The only thing I can think of right now is that their elevators to get to the trains are not very noticeable from the upper level.

Missoula - you're small and tiny; yet you felt the need to frisk the baby. Odd.

Denver - Thank goodness for the train because if you had to walk the whole way with a baby, your arm WOULD fall off.

So, after all my airplane adventures I get home to discover that my daughter is teething. Again. Still. On top of that she has a cold. It's been a fun couple of days. I found Baby Vicks Rub today. Too bad I didn't have it two days ago. My poor daughter, she has two teeth in on the bottom. One on the top that has cut through and I initially thought was one of her front center ones that was a lot farther to the side, but now that I've looked in her mouth again I've decided it WAS one of the side ones. I can now see that she has her front two and her other side one on the top all trying to come in at the same time. No wonder she's been fussing and screaming!

Oh, and projects....I'm doing better...and worse. I started and finished a project for my friend's baby shower, so that leaves me still at 28. I started and finished a project for my husband's cousin's wedding in May; again still at 28. I'm scrapping all of my beading, so that leaves me at 27 (hooray!!). I started, and have mostly finished, a really cute dress for my daughter; back at 28.

High Chair

When my husband and I went searching for high chairs we weren't thrilled with the cost; especially since our daughter was breast fed, and still is, and wouldn't be needing the chair for a few months. So, we ended up getting a really inexpensive, but FANTASTICALLY versatile high chair that just attaches to our dining chairs. It's from "The First Years," I have to say I love their products, and it's awesome because it goes from infant with a bottle, all the way to a toddler booster seat. The best part, at the time, was that it was only $20. Whoopee! Now, I have another reason to appreciate this chair. My daughter has started throwing her head back and trying to 'rock' in the chair. Not sure why she's doing it, but there it is. If she were in a regular high chair the thing would have tipped over and been on the ground with her in it. Because it's attached to our regular dining room chairs (which are heavier) she hasn't been able to make it move. I'm still going to be watching her like a hawk while she's in it, but at least I know that there is yet another reason to love the chair I have.

I made a dent in the mess today. There are actually things on the shelves right now. Of course, there are other things on the floor that weren't on the floor yesterday, like my daughter's set of measuring cups and her measuring spoons. At least those are bright red, plastic, and easy to pick up. She loves them. She especially loves smashing her yogurt drops on her high chair tray with them and then throwing them off for mommy to fetch. Ah well, dinner time!

The encroaching mess...

And the never ending battle with it. My daughter is slowly taking over the house inch by inch. She started off just taking over our bedroom. We only have a two bedroom right now and in the beginning we felt more comfortable having her in our room rather than in the second bedroom. So, our bedroom has a crib, a changing table, her dresser (ours is now in our closet), and various blankets lying about. Now that she's crawling around we can add toys on the floor in our living room. They start out each day up on shelves and in fabric bins; and we end the day with them spread from one end to the other. She's learning to walk too. I can only imagine that the mess is going to get worse before it gets better. She can't quite walk yet; she's pulling herself up on EVERYTHING and everyone she can get her hands on and she's starting to transfer from one object to another. Nothing is safe or sacred. Eek!

I finally broke down today and get another diaper bag; third one's a charm! I had one that was really comfortable to wear but didn't really have the right amount of space. So, I got a second one that had a ton of space. Unfortunately, it isn't the most comfortable or easy to carry around. Since we are still traveling all over the place I really wanted one that would be easy to get around with. So, I got a back-pack one. I used it today on a walk and I've already decided that I should have gotten a backpack one the first time and forgotten about all the 'bags'. My advice to new parents: get a backpack diaper bag. Especially if you are planning on traveling with your little one. It's also Dad friendly. I should have listened to my friends in Alaska when I was thinking of getting the second one. Oh well, live and learn! I also picked up a "PeaPod" packable baby bed. It folds up into a small enough package to pack in a suit case, has an air mattress and sleeping pad (that also pack into the same container), and has a side open zipper. I really like the side zipper since my daughter is the queen of waking up the second she senses a downward motion. It is also supposed to be good for taking to the beach or spending some time outdoors as it has a UV shield. Whoohoo! I'm taking it for a test run in the near future and I will get back to how well it works later. And...onto cleaning up the mess for the evening...

New Products

I like to be somewhat environmentally savvy and while we were living in Oregon, where there's a recycling bin every two feet, it was fairly easy to recycle. We now live in New Mexico, where it is a bit harder since I'd have to bring all of my recycling to the center; with an 8 month old that's taking over the house inch by inch there isn't a lot of room to spare with things like recycling storage. So, we haven't been recycling (grimace). When I first had my daughter my husband and I looked into doing cloth diapers because it's more environmentally friendly and slightly more cost efficient after the initial spending...of course that initial spending can cost you somewhere between $200 and $500. We got a ton of disposable diapers for gifts and so, until today, we've been sticking with those. I have a small problem with disposable diapers; for some bizarre reason someone decided that they should be scented. So, if you want to try to save some money by buying in bulk you almost always end up with scented diapers. I have sensitive skin, my daughter has sensitive skin...scents don't go well with sensitive skin. There is my dilemma. I have recently purchased a semi disposable semi cloth diaper. "Little Gpants" have a cotton stretch diaper and a liner that are completely washable and you can fill them with either biodegradable (and FLUSHABLE!!!) pads, or with washable cloth absorbers. So, I'm trying them. The cost for the diaper and liner portion wasn't bad at all and the cost for the biodegradable pads wasn't terrible either. I think in all we pay the same amount of money for 10 less pads, which is something I'm willing to do since it will ease my environmental guilt.

Another new thing we've been trying is Yogurt. I initially went with the Gerbers Yogurt packs that you don't need to refrigerate initially. They are more custard like and my daughter hated them. They weren't organic either and had extra sugar. I tried YoBaby recently and we now have it as part of our morning routine. And YoBaby recently came up with a freeze dried version that is similar to the Gerber Yogurt drops, but it is all organic as well without extra sugar. Guess what? My daughter loves them! Hooray for new things we like!

Adventures with a Belly!

No, I'm not pregnant again! I'll just say that upfront right now! I am not pregnant again and we are not trying to get pregnant again for a few more years. So there! However, I have 1,2,3...7? I think 7 friends who are either: pregnant, just had a baby, or are trying to get pregnant. So, this makes me think back to being pregnant and some of my experiences. This is for my friends, who are pregnant, recently became moms, and who are trying to get pregnant.

Pregnancy bellies are so cute, and round, and touchable right? WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! They are cute, and round, and so NOT for everyone to touch! That's something that just happens as soon as you have a cute round belly. Everyone wants to rub it, touch it, pat it...etc. They all want to touch. Some people wait for an invitation or ask. THANK YOU to all those wonderfully polite people who ask or wait for an invitation, implied or spoken, before touching. It's just very rude otherwise! I used to work for an insurance company and all of the people I worked with were very nice and it was never uncomfortable for them to come and say hello to me and say hi to the baby by way of a small rub or a "hello" directed at my stomach. There were some other people who worked in the building who didn't get the 'no touch' memo. I once had a lady come up to me right after she came out of the bathroom, stick her hands on my massively large baby bump, and then say hello to me. I'd never met her before in my life! I still don't know her name.

I now have a way to deal with the uninvited tummy touchers, and I think I'll share. I don't remember what book I got this advice from, but the advice was to stick your hand on their stomach and talk to them as soon as they do it to you. That way they get the same intrusion that you do. I wish I had had the chance to use it! It would have been so gratifying.

I gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant. Mind you, I had an almost 9 lbs baby, but I still gained darn near 70 lbs. I'm 5'3" and wasn't thin as a rail when I got pregnant. So, 70 lbs was pretty awful and I had a huge, massive, pregnant belly. I looked like you could stick me with a pin and the baby would just pop right out. I have the pictures, and the stretch marks, to prove it. However, just because a pregnant woman has a rather large belly does not give anyone the right to come up and say: "Are you SURE you're not having twins?", "Wow! You've gained a ton of weight!", "You've just...um...expanded haven't you?", and my personal favorite "OMG! You're HUGE!" ..... yeah...don't ever say that. Ever. I always wanted to say, "Yeah, I'm pregnant and I've gained weight. What's your excuse?" But I never did.

I want to send a huge, huge, thank you out to one of my coworkers who never failed to say, "Oh, you look So beautiful!" every single time I saw her. She always made me feel beautiful and very proud of my baby belly. So, if you know someone who is pregnant, who just had a baby, or who wants to get pregnant tell them they are beautiful. Because they are, inside and out.

Clutter and Sleeping

I'm sitting here while my daughter is napping, I love nap time, and I'm wondering about all of these people I have on Facebook. Some of them I talk to fairly regularly and I use Facebook to keep in touch with them. Others I know fairly well and was friends with at some point in time, and I suppose I'm still friends with them now. However, they don't talk to me, haven't made any effort to do so in ages, and I haven't made much of an effort either. Is it bad to want to 'clean house' and remove some of the people that haven't made much of an effort to stay friends with me? I know that there are some people who are more 'lurkers,' who use Facebook infrequently and check on pictures of friends, maybe say hi once in a while...etc. I'm just not into the clutter of it all. I know it's lame and totally weird, but I really don't know why I bother to have so many people on there that I never talk to, never hear from, and frankly don't really know anymore. Ah well, there's my thoughts on that anyway.

My daughter has been insisting on crying herself to sleep, or rather she's been fighting going to sleep every night to the point of tears. Nothing helps, but she does finally settle down and sleep if you hold her so she can't squirm away. I don't know why all of a sudden she's decided that sleep is not a good thing, but there it is! We are all suffering from some sleep deprivation and aggravation these days. I hope she grows out of it soon. I was really looking forward to getting her to sleep in her crib all night long, or at least the majority of the night, and getting woken up less. I guess I'll have to keep reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and see if there are some more ideas that we can use to help her get to sleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake up happier!

Projects

I'm a project hoarder. I truly am. I have so many projects in my 'to be finished' stash I can't even count them all. At least 10!! My goal is to get at least half of them done before we move again; despite what my inner voice is saying to the contrary. That's the goal. I want to lesson my project load by half by the time we move again in July. We're moving regardless of whether or not my husband finds a new job. If he finds a new one then, "YEAH! We're moving out of state!" If he doesn't then, "YEAH! We're moving out of this frigging apartment...to another frigging apartment." Either way though, we're moving. So of course this means that I've started packing already.

No, you didn't read that last part wrong. I've started packing already. I think I have 10 or 11 boxes packed and stacked in the second bedroom. I'm really anal retentive this way. As soon as winter is over I'll probably pack all of our winter gear in a box too. When we search for new jobs if we find one the first thing I do is to go on Rent.com and search out prices on apartments. Then I go and find out about the city, where the best places to live are, where the apartments are in comparison to the high school, what the mean income of the state is, if there's a state income tax and how much it is...etc. I have checklists. I have checklists of places to search for jobs once a week. I am totally nuts; but my husband just says I'm "driven." Isn't he such a good guy?

Back to the topic: projects! I think, for my own curiosity I will try to list what I have to do in categories...

Cross Stitch - 3 stockings (one is in the finishing stages), 3 wall art ones, 1 from my great grandmother that she never finished. Total: 7 (YIKES)

Sewing - 2 jackets that need sleeves, 1 skirt, 1 pair of pants, 1 jacket to put together entirely, 3 Halloween costumes for next year (not sure how much that counts since I just got patterns today), 2 quilts that need quilting, 2 quilts that need to have more blocks put together, 1 angel wall hanging, 4 pants that need hemming or buttons or pockets fixed. Total: 17 (Oh. My. Goodness. What was I thinking?!!?)

Craft - 1 beaded necklace, 1 set of letters to string up for my daughter, 2 picture frames to paint. Total: 4 (Much better than the last two!)

Grand Total: 28 So, I need to bring that number closer to 14 by the time we move. Okay, so that's...5 months so if I do 2 to 3 a month I might achieve my goal of finishing half. We'll see. Maybe. Is this possible with an 8 month old?!?

Moms Don't Get Weekends

The title is pretty self explanatory and very true. Moms don't get weekends; especially stay at home moms. Since I'm at home my 'job' so to speak is taking care of my daughter and doing many (not all) of the chores that need to be done day to day around our apartment. So, the weekend is pretty much like the rest of the week, except that my husband is generally home and sometimes underfoot. See, everyone who goes to work looks forward to the weekend to spend time with their families, to recharge their batteries, and get ready for the week ahead. Stay at home moms have to make time to recharge their batteries because they are, essentially, 'on call' 24/7. I have to say it's the one drawback to being at home because the weekend doesn't really exist. "Free Time" and "Spare Time" don't really apply, and people who try to ask me what I'm going to do with my "free time" at home with my daughter make me want to strangle them. My 'free time' is spent jogging (with my daughter), cooking, doing laundry, taking a shower, and checking the occasional e-mail. So, it's not really 'free time' to do whatever I want with. I need to start MAKING myself have 'free time' that is actually doing what I want to do: like catching up on a sewing project or getting my nails done, or sitting reading a book for an hour without getting interrupted by diaper changes, entertaining my daughter with different activities, cooking dinner, or any number of other casual interruptions. They add up. So, I say to all the people out there who think stay at home moms have it 'so easy' and with lots of 'free time': Moms DON'T get weekends!

My Pink Elephant

My daughter has two pink elephant cuddly toys. They are for helping her get herself back to sleep without me in the night. I'm supposed to wear them around a little bit so some of 'mommy smells' gets onto them. We'll see how much it works, but so far I have some hopes...and lots of pink elephants running through my head like the big "Dumbo" elephants made out of pink champagne bubbles.

Of course I have another 'elephant' of sorts that I want to bring out into the open. I've been avoiding mentioning it, and wondering if I should mention it, but the truth is; it's part of my life right now and I want to be able to discuss it.

My mom has cancer. She got diagnosed with it shortly before Christmas and had surgery to remove a tumor in her leg in early December. She's doing pretty well; she has radiation therapy starting tomorrow and then chemotherapy after that, so sometime in April/March. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean obviously I'm upset that she's sick and I'm really hopeful that she's going to get through it all just fine. I just don't talk about it. I think about it sometimes, but if I dwell on it too much I just make myself crazy; so I try not to think about it too often. So, there, that's it. That's my pink elephant that also floats bubbly boo through my head.

Jogging

Anyone who has met me would think, "Yeah, she is NOT a runner." and they would be right. I am not a runner. I'm a sissy girl when it comes to running, I do the whole chicken arm girly prancing run; it's bad. So I don't run. I've tried throughout the years to start running or jogging because I know that it can keep you in shape and I've always been looking at ways to stay in shape. I am not one of those naturally thin and lean people who can eat whatever they want, never exercise, and not gain a pound. Nope. Not one of them...

After I had my daughter I had a lot, A LOT, of weight to get off. Since I had a C-section I was allowed to walk for the first few weeks, and that was pretty much it. Luckily, I've discovered that walking has done wonders for me! I never knew I could get skinny legs, but lo and behold my legs are actually leaner than they were before I even got pregnant. The problem, of course, is to get the rest of my body back into a semblance of shape. I have a walking partner who actually likes to run/jog and she started making me do intervals of jogging with her on our walks. We haven't had a chance to walk in a while between illnesses, traveling, and the weather being a bit too cold to take our daughters for walks. So, this morning it was fairly nice out, not too chilly, and I actually went jogging with my daughter without having to have someone make me do it. And I jog-walked for a whole mile. So, the joggers and runners who read this will probably roll their eyes and go, "Oh, gee, a mile..." but for me a mile of jogging and walking is huge. Especially, since I was pushing a 20 lbs baby in a stroller. Now the real question is: can (or will) I do it again? We shall see...but since I have 10 lbs to go and a little weight I wanted off pre-pregnancy to go...I think there's a good chance of jogging becoming a permanent fixture in my days. Even if I do run like a sissy girl.

Adventures in Parenting

My husband and I have two more big trips planned before this summer. One to San Diego to visit friends, and one to Canada for a family wedding. Since we'll be traveling with our daughter and we're leaving the country for a few days we knew we'd need passports; and so would our daughter. We had all of our paperwork, all of our pictures, and everything ready to go and it took 2 and a half hours at the post office to get it taken care of. My husband was ready to spit nails and I was only slightly less annoyed.

My daughter has figured out how to pull herself up in the last couple days, so now she likes to practice all the time...I had a dream last night that she just pulled herself up and started walking and running. It was terrifying! I'm not ready for this! I'm still getting used to having her underfoot and not staying in the general area where I left her. I'm not ready for her to be pulling herself up and walking and running around! ACK! Sigh...oh well, ready or not here she comes!!

The Neighbors

I believe I may have mentioned that I really dislike the neighbor across the street. He doesn't live in my complex, he lives in one of the town homes across from us. He is, apparently, selling his unit and will be moving soon. I can't wait! He has a muscle car license plate reads: "--ELITE" That should give you some indication of how highly he thinks of himself and his car. It's a cherry red car that does a load roaring VROOOM every time he steps on the gas. Which he does, all the time. While he's sitting in the driveway showing it off, while he's leaving to go to work VROOM VROOM VROOM over every speed bump, when he comes home from work. Now I know that he doesn't have complete control over the sound. It is a special car after all. What kills me is that he will rev the engine while leaving the house, set off his wife's OBNOXIOUS car alarm and just let her alarm go until it automatically turns off. After all, he doesn't have to hear it, he's on his way to work...or wherever he goes. He does it all the time too. Seven am on a Sunday morning...oh yeah, he revs the engine, sets off her alarm and wakes up half the neighborhood. If I thought that going over and talking to him would help I would, but from the stories about how his wife (or girlfriend, or whatever) has acted towards the people who live in the apartments I don't think it will. I can't tell you how happy it made me when, a couple weeks ago, a nice "FOR SALE" sign showed up in their yard. *Happy Dance!*

Losing My Mind

So many reasons why I think I might just be losing it. First off, I got offered a job this morning. My old job back at the insurance company. I turned it down. It wasn't the best job for me anyway and I wouldn't be getting paid well for it. I just couldn't stand the thought of leaving my daughter at daycare. She's just now getting to be really interesting and she does new things each day. Yesterday she actually said "Momma" in reference to me, which was really exciting. If I had to work full time how much would I miss? She's still figuring out crawling, she's starting to pull herself up, and she is just so inquisitive and exploratory. I don't want to miss this! My economic self is going, "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Many people WANT a job!" My heart and emotional self just curl up into a huge ball of crying anxiety at the thought of leaving her all day at daycare. I had considered part-time at one point, but that's not what they offered me. Home I stay and happy for it! Now...if only I could find my marriage certificate so I don't have to mail in a written request for one...

CATS FOR SALE!!!

Okay I was kidding...mostly. I'm not sure what I am going to do about my naughty naughty cats. Picture this, you're lying in bed next to your almost asleep baby, it's quiet, the neighbor across the street hasn't taken his 'muscle' car out of his garage and revved it down the street (I really dislike that man), and all is well in the house. THEN your stupid, attention seeking, cat decides to HOWL outside the bedroom door and put his paws under it and rattles the door making a "HOWL BANG BANG RATTLE HOWL" noise that completely startles you and the baby. I was ready to kill him. I'm trying some new techniques to get my daughter to sleep through the night longer and better, and they are working by the way, but that stupid cat (Figaro) insists on getting his attention as soon as I shut the door to the bedroom. My husband was sitting on the couch perfectly willing to do some cat cuddling, but no, the cat has to be where I am. It's somewhat nice to know that the cat does actually love me, because cats are generally less showy in their affections. However, I would like the cat to discover another time to be attention seeking and another method of getting it. Any ideas? Any at all? Because I've just had it.

The other cat, Cyrano, doesn't seek out attention that way. He just acts out in small, almost un-noticeable ways. I say almost because you will eventually figure out WHY one particular box smells a bit "funny." He pees in any laundry basket, any suitcase that still has some clothes in it, even a bin filled with hats, gloves, and scarves. Not sure what to do about him either. I am seriously ready to just put them both outside and let them become indoor/outdoor cats and maybe get eaten by coyotes.

And then I feel horribly guilty for saying or even thinking that. They were my first 'babies' after all. Figaro is a Manx mix. A 16 1/2 pound tailless monster who started out life with me as a 4 week old kitten the size of my hand. Cyrano is a Norwegian Forest cat mix. A large, 15 pound ball of fluff that reminds me of a fuzzy slinky. I didn't know that there were breeds of cats that got this large. Silly me. Should have figured that since there were large breed dogs there just might be large breed cats. Well, there are, if you didn't know. Cyrano, the forest cat mix, is actually on the small side and is a little skinny for his 3 foot long self. Norwegian Forest cats can be as large as 25 lbs. Figaro is a little chubby, but not as much as he used to be and not nearly enough for the vet to be concerned. He is at the moment curled up between my legs perfectly content to get some cuddle time. Hopefully, he'll cuddle now and leave me alone to nurse my daughter and get her to sleep tonight!

Bank Tellers

My family just got back into town from an extended vacation. So, as usual we've had a lot of errands we've had to run: grocery shopping, post office...the bank. We managed the grocery shopping first because we had no food in the house. My husband went back to a very stimulating (massive sarcasm) day of in-service at the high school he works at so the post office and the bank were on the list for my daughter and me today. The post office was a nightmare; thank goodness I did not have to stand in line! I just needed stamps, which I could get from a lovely automated machine; three people in line versus 40-50 in the counter line (yikes!).

Next we went on a short trip to Target to get diapers. Then, the bank. It was just before mid-day so I figured it might be faster to go through the drive-through rather than go in with a cranky baby and stand waiting in line. Well, I was partially right, my daughter was cranky, the line inside was long, and the drive-through looked much better. Of course I hadn't counted on the bank teller offering me all sorts of services after I had made my transaction. He's a very nice teller, I've talked with him before inside the bank, and he was just trying to make banking easier for my husband and I. It was, however, a service we don't want, don't need, and he kept trying to sell me on it while I was sitting in a car with a screaming child. Who does that? It's a two-way intercom system so clearly he could hear my child screaming and see the line of cars waiting to be served. I know he was trying to be helpful and I was not rude (no, mother I was not rude), but come on? Really? Is that the best time to be asking people about their banking choices?

Travel Extravaganza

In the last 6 weeks my daughter and I have traveled extensively; across the country in fact. 6 weeks, 9 airplanes, 4 states (not including the brief stops to change planes). So, I've come to the conclusion that I have some travel credentials when it comes to traveling with children. Which means, of course, that I have some items of interest to talk about: other passengers, feeding an infant, traveling solo with a lap child, airlines, and security.

First off, other passengers... when I used to travel before I had kids I always felt sorry for the parents who would get on an airplane and have a fussy kid. Now, I've been one and I feel even sorrier for those whose kids cry on a plane. It's a nightmare. First off, you don't want your child to be feeling upset or in pain from the changing pressure. Secondly, you don't want your child to bother any of the other passengers and there will be plenty who will glare at the first sign of a fussy kid. Yet other passengers can also be a blessing when it comes to playing peek-a-boo or being willing to hold your child while you run to the bathroom. THANK YOU THANK YOU for the wonderful passengers who don't hold it against you that you are traveling with a child!!

Feeding an infant... The first time I traveled with my daughter on a plane I didn't need to worry about feeding her. It was an hour long flight, my husband was with me, and it coincided with her nap time. I was in heaven! The next time I traveled with her I was by myself, the flight was delayed, nap time was deferred, and my daughter ate in the terminal first. Not a huge ordeal in the terminal since you usually have some place (even the floor) to place a jar of food. However, this was a much longer flight and she had to eat again before we had landed. So here I am, 30,000 feet in the air with a hungry child, a jar of food, and a Boon travel spoon. I love the Boon Travel Spoon. If it were not for that spoon, which has a bulb on one end that you can fill with food that then gets squeezed out onto a spoon lip, I would have had to juggle a baby, an open jar of food, and a spoon. It would have been a mess! A sticky, slimy, mess all over the other passenger (or passengers) in my row. If you are traveling by yourself I highly recommend that item!

Traveling solo with a lap child... my biggest piece of advice is to pack your carry-on diaper bag light, but with all of the essentials. Do Not over-pack with toys, books, or games! You have to carry it, your child, and probably some sort of stroller or car seat. I over-packed the first time and was tired before I even boarded the first plane.

Lastly airlines and security... Check the airline website before you travel. Some airlines are better than others about what you can carry on, what can be checked (for free!), what may be checked for an extra fee, and what time you board your flight. For instance, Southwest flights have Family Boarding; after the first 60 people get on. Delta flights you get to board with First Class, Business Class, and all of the other Elite groups. There's a trade-off in bags though; Southwest gets the first two free, Delta you pay for the first one (although some baby items can be checked for free). So, know what you can check and take on as a carry-on before hand. Security...ah, security how much I loathe thee! Security has a purpose and I won't deny it, however they do not make it easy for families traveling with children. Some airports have made it easier with a "Family and Medical Liquids" Lane that you go to when you go through security. Since you're with a lot of other families you won't have any glares for taking forever to get through. My first 'on my own' trip with my daughter through security included the TSA Officer inspecting her water saying, "I need to run a chemical test on this." I asked what that entailed and he said, "I'll put a chemical in it to see if it's a liquid explosive." So, I promptly said you can just throw it away because she's going to want to drink it later. Then he said, "Oh, I was only joking I just need to wave a test strip over it; nothing goes inside. I shouldn't tease parents like that." No kidding. Very funny. Ha. Ha. I'm laughing all over.