The Daunting Task

My husband and I are trying to get my daughter to sleep on her own in her own crib (or pack and play since we aren't in our new place yet). I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!! We are essentially taking a very secure and happy baby and placing her in a space she is uncomfortable with and insecure in and making her stay there until she falls asleep (a FITFUL sleep) from utter exhaustion. This is normal? This is humane behavior? What the....argh! There are not words to describe the utter horror and panic on my daughter's face. I honestly feel it is cruel and unusual punishment, and I feel like the ultimate betrayer of trust and love. Our daughter does not understand why we are sticking her in that pack and play and she doesn't understand why we won't pick her up. I'm very VERY unhappy about this. She is too young to understand and already going through an insecure phase with moving and everything else. But...... If we don't do this now, then when? We cannot have her in bed with us, or even in the same room with us, forever; nor do we want to. There HAS to be another way to do this!

"Civilized" societies put their children in their own beds and, sometimes, in their own rooms from day one. Ripped from the womb that has housed, cherished, and nurtured them as well as all the sounds and warmth associated with it, and stuck in a pen. A padded pen with weird objects floating over head....yeah, seems perfectly natural to me.

I'll say it. I am PROUD to be a mom who has had her daughter secure and safely in bed with her parents. The family bed. Now...I'm not saying that I want it forever, I don't. At some point our daughter needs to go in her own space and into her own room. I do want my bed back. However, it has been a wonderful experience to have that little body snuggled up close to me (and occasionally kicking me) during the night. I sleep better with her in bed with me than I do when she's in her crib or her pack and play. I think I am having trouble letting go of the experience, because if she's in her own bed, if she's in her own room...then she isn't really a baby-baby anymore. She'll be my little girl toddler....and I'm holding onto the baby for all I'm worth right now. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe she senses I want to hold onto it more too. I don't know....but I think that there has to be a better way...