I love my in-laws. I love their new house. I love to visit them and stay for a few days or even a week....
It's now been close to 5 weeks. I'm done. I want to go home. I want to have a home to go to, and I'm just biting at my nails for next week when we get the keys to our apartment and we can move in. Don't get me wrong, it's been really nice having grandma and grandpa time (and a break for the parents). It's just time to go home. I'm used to having a way to say, "I need private time...AWAY from everyone." It's hard to do that in a house where you are a guest and no space is really "your" space. Makes it really hard for me to relax. It probably doesn't help that all those happy endorphins that are put out by breast feeding are going away because my daughter is, essentially, weaned. I'm sure that is part of what is making me a bit crabby. She has also decided that she doesn't want anyone to sing to her when she's going to bed. That kills me. I love singing to her and I have some great bedtime songs. She is very gentle about it, but she'll just stick her hand across your mouth when you sing to her now. Makes me feel like I'm losing another connection to her. I waver between an intense desire to keep her as my dependent 'baby' and wanting her desperately to get independent enough to play by herself or play more interactive games with me.
Damn, but I forgot how hard growing up can be.
Oh my goodness! You are amazing living with your inlaws for that long. I sometimes go crazy when we have guests in OUR house for more than a couple of days because I am ready to have our space back. It doesn't matter how much fun we are having or how much we like them. I still need OUR space. Living with someone else that long would drive me crazy!
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how hard it is to be at the stage where you are at with Anya. They start to get so independent. I am trying not to be the crazy mom who looses it because her baby is turning a month...I am sure it only gets worse!
I can see why you feel like she is becoming more independent and needing you less, but don't worry she still definitely needs you <3
ReplyDeleteJust wait until she is older and runs to you because she skinned her knee (why do I picture her having wavy hair...I had a dream about that) and only a kiss from her mom will make it better.
I can't wait until she comes to visit and she squeels with delight "Auntie Liz!" like what Gabby does. It makes me feel very special and my heart swells. My favorite age for kids is 2-5 years old so I am excited to see how curious and smart Anya will become! <3