The Easy Button

So. I'm going back to school in the spring. The school I was looking at gave me GREAT news; I only have 1 class I need to take to complete my elementary 'prelims' for the state. So, instead of starting next fall I'm going back in the spring. The only catch: my daughter is going to have to have one to two days of daycare a week. YIKES! Scary mommy moment!!! I actually think my daughter will completely enjoy the experience and come to love having other children to play with a couple times a week, so while it pains me to even think about leaving her I think it will be good for her; now if only I knew that I could find a good, safe, not ultra religious daycare center. I have a couple of options that I'm looking into and I think I am just going to have to buckle down and go visit 3-5 of them and see what I like, don't like, and what the costs are going to be. That was the weird thing for me...prices are not listed on ANY of these sites. Not even an average price for a toddler. So here I am going to be walking into some of these places and I hope I don't fall in love with the one that has the HUGE pricetag!! I'll be getting help from the grandparents in order for us to do this, but still...

In the end though it is all about what is best for my baby. If I only like the one that costs the most I'm going to spend the money on it. I have seen too many daycares that cost less not doing everything they should be doing for the children in their care. I feel better about it knowing that I was able to stay home with my daughter for the first year. I especially feel better about it seeing her wanting to interact with all of the young children she meets. She is craving the social contact and I am glad that it coincides with my need to go back to school. Still, I want her to be in a safe, friendly, non religious, environment.

I should mention that the non-religious aspect is important to me because I want my child to make her own decisions on religion and I would like her to not have it pushed down her throat at a young age. Many religious affiliated daycare centers offer very good daycare. I believe that I may have gone to a non-denominational preschool myself; but I don't remember there being a large focus on the religious aspect just respect for others and respect for self. So, as long as the religious affliated ones aren't doing a great deal of preaching I may be all right with it. Maybe. I'd have to check it out and see how the energy vibes of the place were. If it was like where I went to preschool then I'd be fine; if not, then there is no way I would leave my child in a place that I felt severely uncomfortable.

My other thought is whether I go with a daycare center, or whether I go with a place that moves kids through daycare, preschool, prek, kindergarten...etc. Sigh...

I know that there is no easy way to look into this and there is no easy way to make a decision...but sometimes I would like the easy button for this.

Losing My Mind

So many reasons why I think I might just be losing it. First off, I got offered a job this morning. My old job back at the insurance company. I turned it down. It wasn't the best job for me anyway and I wouldn't be getting paid well for it. I just couldn't stand the thought of leaving my daughter at daycare. She's just now getting to be really interesting and she does new things each day. Yesterday she actually said "Momma" in reference to me, which was really exciting. If I had to work full time how much would I miss? She's still figuring out crawling, she's starting to pull herself up, and she is just so inquisitive and exploratory. I don't want to miss this! My economic self is going, "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Many people WANT a job!" My heart and emotional self just curl up into a huge ball of crying anxiety at the thought of leaving her all day at daycare. I had considered part-time at one point, but that's not what they offered me. Home I stay and happy for it! Now...if only I could find my marriage certificate so I don't have to mail in a written request for one...